The Gift

I remember a math teacher who encouraged me because he saw something in me, a potential to problem solve like none of the other kids in my class. It was unusual at the time to have a girl who was better than a boy in mathematics, and I have to be honest - that alone was thrilling! He made me believe in my own capabilities when I didn't even know that I had such capabilities. He believed me right into a math degree in college, where I was surrounded by all-male classmates and teachers. The struggle was real at times, and I recall encountering a teacher who made me feel very small, like my contributions were not worthy of his classroom. I was even told by another teacher that no females were able to succeed in his classroom, so I might as well consider dropping his class before it showed up on my transcript. What an arrogant ass he was. I'm happy to say that he is no longer teaching, but my confidence was quite bruised that semester when I flailed in class. I'm certain he was biased in his grading, but the intimidation was great and his power was mighty. I vowed that I would never again allow another teacher to bully me. Even though I'd experienced very positive interactions with my high school mentor as well as several other teachers and coaches, it was the negative experience that stands out the most; and it was in that moment when I realized how much power a teacher has.

And then I became a parent.

I've been blessed to have three kids with significantly different learning styles and intelligence quotients. As a teacher myself, it is thrilling that my children have become my greatest teachers. My oldest taught me that there really is such a thing as too much homework, that ADHD is real, and that it's OK that kids grow and learn at their own pace. My middle one taught me that there really is such a thing as gifted, that there is no limit to the amount of times some kids ask 'Why?", and that most kids cannot relate to being really smart. My youngest one taught me that effort does not always equate to achievement, that being social and compassionate is a true gift that not everyone possesses, and that being body smart (kinesthetic) is a very real form of intelligence. Oh how I wish I could go back to my first year of teaching (and my second and third) with these lessons already learned. What a wonderful teacher I would be!

I stepped away from teaching after giving birth to my oldest, and now I am fortunate enough to develop curriculum so I get to indirectly teach through the content I produce. I do still long for the face-to-face interaction and when my youngest is on her way, I hope to find myself back in that space.

My precious daughter after winning a race with the CYO

My youngest struggles in school. She tries to take her intense desire to do well academically and turn it into reality while struggling with some very real learning disabilities - with teachers who do not acknowledge that she has a legitimate learning issue nor seem to care that she wants nothing more than to get a decent score on a test. They have created a high-stress environment by peddling the fear of future failures, which will supposedly be determined by how well she scores on her final exams now. Whenever she begins an exam now - in any subject - and freezes. She stares at the paper and cannot remember anything she's studied (usually after studying for several days). She used to only do this on standardized tests, but now it's across the board. Thank you, 7th grade teachers, for making my daughter hate school. Thank you for making her cry daily as she recounts what happened that day, like telling her that if she fails her final exams in 7th grade, she'll never be accepted to Bishop Shanahan; or like telling her that if she fails her final exams she'll have to repeat the entire year; or like telling her that if she fails anything while in high school, she'll be kicked out of said school; or like telling her she's putting no effort in, because if she were she'd have better test scores. She studies and studies, doing 2.5 - 3 hours worth of homework and studying every evening, without reaping the benefits of such effort. It begs the question - why are these people teachers? They do not deserve the title.

She does not give up and continues to try academically, year after year. Her work ethic is that which should be emulated by others. She makes me want to be the best I can be, to use my gifts and talents to their fullest, because I've been given a beautiful mind. I understand things, and understand things easily. How lucky I have been and didn't even know it! Yet she has gifts that I do not possess - she is a magnet to those around her and can make the most awkward of people feel comfortable and welcomed - that is such a gift. But we don't measure that in standardized tests or academic settings. We measure IQ and math and reading abilities. How unfortunate that is, because the world needs all kinds of beautiful minds. As we continue to help her reach her full potential, we are on yet another quest to find the most appropriate placement for her in school. Wherever we go, we will not have a repeat of this year's teachers. We will make sure that her teachers shine a light - and not cast a shadow - on her future.