Finding Face
About a year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with Bell's Palsy. It was not a fun experience at all. It took about 9 months for me to get my face back in its original position, but I was not 100% back to my former self. That didn't happen until yesterday morning.
I've been a musician for as long as I can remember. I like to try lots of instruments but am only really good at one - playing the flute. It comes as naturally to me as breathing. When Bell's hit me, I lost control of the right side of my face; and with that loss, I could no longer play the flute. I could not control the muscles that allow me to hold my embouchure, the position of the lips, facial muscles, tongue, and teeth while playing a wind instrument. It took me years to perfect the position to get the most beautiful sound out of this instrument. Once I had it, my face just remembered it. I did not have to make any effort to hold this mouth position; until December of 2015, that is.
I was devastated. Not only did I look a little scary, but I couldn't do something that came so naturally to me for most of my life, something that gave me great happiness on a regular basis. Don't get me wrong, the world didn't lose a fantastic musician - I mean, I'm not at Carnegie Hall playing concerts - I'm just at church or weddings in my little corner of the world. But I lost something, something that was very important to me.
Since then, I thought I'd try to expand my horizons a little. I started singing more at church and even thumbed my way through a few services playing the piano. Neither one came naturally or were even easy, but I thought that with time, maybe I'd become more comfortable. Still waiting...
On a regular basis, I tried tooting my flute, always when no one was around because I sounded more like a first year student. It wasn't pretty. Then a friend of mine mentioned that I should try stimulating that area of my face with a vibrator. She is a speech therapist and although she admitted it was an odd suggestion, she thought it would work. Months went by and I kept her words in the back of my mind. Then one day, I heard a recording of a song I'd done years before, an Irish number, from a wedding I'd done, and I longed to make that music again. I knew I had to try my friend's suggestion - I just had to play again.
So off I went to my computer and ordered a vibrator. For my face. Then for about a month, I gave myself some facial treatments with something called a "pocket rocket". (If my computer is ever seized, I swear the searches were for this!) Miraculously, over the next month, I began to hold the embouchure and glimpses of that sweet beautiful sound made its appearance. I played in church yesterday for the first time. After a year and a half, I've found my sound again, I've found my face again. And it sounds so good.
I've been a musician for as long as I can remember. I like to try lots of instruments but am only really good at one - playing the flute. It comes as naturally to me as breathing. When Bell's hit me, I lost control of the right side of my face; and with that loss, I could no longer play the flute. I could not control the muscles that allow me to hold my embouchure, the position of the lips, facial muscles, tongue, and teeth while playing a wind instrument. It took me years to perfect the position to get the most beautiful sound out of this instrument. Once I had it, my face just remembered it. I did not have to make any effort to hold this mouth position; until December of 2015, that is.
I was devastated. Not only did I look a little scary, but I couldn't do something that came so naturally to me for most of my life, something that gave me great happiness on a regular basis. Don't get me wrong, the world didn't lose a fantastic musician - I mean, I'm not at Carnegie Hall playing concerts - I'm just at church or weddings in my little corner of the world. But I lost something, something that was very important to me.
Since then, I thought I'd try to expand my horizons a little. I started singing more at church and even thumbed my way through a few services playing the piano. Neither one came naturally or were even easy, but I thought that with time, maybe I'd become more comfortable. Still waiting...
On a regular basis, I tried tooting my flute, always when no one was around because I sounded more like a first year student. It wasn't pretty. Then a friend of mine mentioned that I should try stimulating that area of my face with a vibrator. She is a speech therapist and although she admitted it was an odd suggestion, she thought it would work. Months went by and I kept her words in the back of my mind. Then one day, I heard a recording of a song I'd done years before, an Irish number, from a wedding I'd done, and I longed to make that music again. I knew I had to try my friend's suggestion - I just had to play again.
So off I went to my computer and ordered a vibrator. For my face. Then for about a month, I gave myself some facial treatments with something called a "pocket rocket". (If my computer is ever seized, I swear the searches were for this!) Miraculously, over the next month, I began to hold the embouchure and glimpses of that sweet beautiful sound made its appearance. I played in church yesterday for the first time. After a year and a half, I've found my sound again, I've found my face again. And it sounds so good.
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