Patience
I prayed for months for the ability to live in the moment, to find patience - patience with my family, my work, my music, my wants and needs. This recent speed bump has forced me to practice patience, but some days, it is difficult to live in the moment. I keep looking forward to the "day when...".
This past Friday, I was scheduled to see Dr Dreamboat to have my staples removed. It was a glorious day in my mind, because I'd been counting down the days until they would be permanently removed. I'd convinced myself that this would be a turning point for me. My dad graciously (was) volunteered to drive me to the appointment and I could tell that he was a little apprehensive about the drive, as was I. Luckily for me, we have backroads to the hospital and could avoid some of the milling of the roadways in anticipation for the new pavement, because the short distance we were on the bumpy roads was agony. I gritted my teeth so dad wouldn't hear me groan about the bumps - but man did they hurt. Once we got to the office, the doctor said he'd make it quick and painless. There is no such thing as painless with staples in your skin, but it really was not as bad as I thought it would be. As he started plucking them out, I began counting, to myself. I was so focused on counting that I did not even hear the good doc asking me questions. He stopped and asked if I was listening to the people next door instead of listening to him. I informed him to keep going, I was not listening to anyone, but instead counting to make sure he got them all out. Number 38 came at the bottom of the zipper and then he removed the 5 on the side, a whopping 43 total. It was over!!! I breathed a huge sigh of relief, but still needed assistance sitting up, getting off the table, and then scheduled my follow up for another four weeks from now. The ride home did not feel any better, nor did the walk into the house. I was more than a little bummed. "Patience", I thought to myself.
The next day, I walked a little more than usual, and I had a meal at the kitchen table. It was really uncomfortable, but I pushed through it. My kids were thrilled to be eating as a family again. I attempted to lay down in my bed instead of the recliner, but could not get comfortable and headed back to the chair for the evening.
For Mother's Day this year, I received two tickets to the American Idol Concert for Gracie and I, with premium boxed seats. This was something we were both really looking forward to - her first live concert and with the performers of a show we love to watch together. The concert was Tuesday night of this week, but I was not up for a long car ride, let alone a long walk around a stadium or a lengthy sit in an uncomfortable seat, so I sat this one out. Gracie was really upset that I wasn't going but I think I was way more upset than her. I cried like a baby when she left with her daddy. It's ironic that he got to take her, not only because he bought me the tickets for a mother's day present, but because he was sad to be going, and I was sad not to be going. The clock was moving at a snail's pace while they were gone, but when they finally arrived home, I was so thrilled that they both enjoyed the show. Chris even got a picture of her with one of the cast-offs from Philly who was walking around promoting his singing business. Gracie was more excited than she looks in this picture!
So I spent my night watching the clock, while my boys stayed with me, reminding me that I've come a long way. Nathaniel said I'm no longer a candidate for a retirement home (oh yes he did say that a few weeks ago). Ben said that I am moving around more often than before. Earlier in the day, my mom said I was moving a little faster. So I put together one of my famous lists of all the things I am doing better than a week ago, and it did make me feel better.
As always, I have many shout-outs of thank you's from this past week...I am continually thankful and humbled. I hope I don't miss anyone.
This past Friday, I was scheduled to see Dr Dreamboat to have my staples removed. It was a glorious day in my mind, because I'd been counting down the days until they would be permanently removed. I'd convinced myself that this would be a turning point for me. My dad graciously (was) volunteered to drive me to the appointment and I could tell that he was a little apprehensive about the drive, as was I. Luckily for me, we have backroads to the hospital and could avoid some of the milling of the roadways in anticipation for the new pavement, because the short distance we were on the bumpy roads was agony. I gritted my teeth so dad wouldn't hear me groan about the bumps - but man did they hurt. Once we got to the office, the doctor said he'd make it quick and painless. There is no such thing as painless with staples in your skin, but it really was not as bad as I thought it would be. As he started plucking them out, I began counting, to myself. I was so focused on counting that I did not even hear the good doc asking me questions. He stopped and asked if I was listening to the people next door instead of listening to him. I informed him to keep going, I was not listening to anyone, but instead counting to make sure he got them all out. Number 38 came at the bottom of the zipper and then he removed the 5 on the side, a whopping 43 total. It was over!!! I breathed a huge sigh of relief, but still needed assistance sitting up, getting off the table, and then scheduled my follow up for another four weeks from now. The ride home did not feel any better, nor did the walk into the house. I was more than a little bummed. "Patience", I thought to myself.
The next day, I walked a little more than usual, and I had a meal at the kitchen table. It was really uncomfortable, but I pushed through it. My kids were thrilled to be eating as a family again. I attempted to lay down in my bed instead of the recliner, but could not get comfortable and headed back to the chair for the evening.
For Mother's Day this year, I received two tickets to the American Idol Concert for Gracie and I, with premium boxed seats. This was something we were both really looking forward to - her first live concert and with the performers of a show we love to watch together. The concert was Tuesday night of this week, but I was not up for a long car ride, let alone a long walk around a stadium or a lengthy sit in an uncomfortable seat, so I sat this one out. Gracie was really upset that I wasn't going but I think I was way more upset than her. I cried like a baby when she left with her daddy. It's ironic that he got to take her, not only because he bought me the tickets for a mother's day present, but because he was sad to be going, and I was sad not to be going. The clock was moving at a snail's pace while they were gone, but when they finally arrived home, I was so thrilled that they both enjoyed the show. Chris even got a picture of her with one of the cast-offs from Philly who was walking around promoting his singing business. Gracie was more excited than she looks in this picture!
So I spent my night watching the clock, while my boys stayed with me, reminding me that I've come a long way. Nathaniel said I'm no longer a candidate for a retirement home (oh yes he did say that a few weeks ago). Ben said that I am moving around more often than before. Earlier in the day, my mom said I was moving a little faster. So I put together one of my famous lists of all the things I am doing better than a week ago, and it did make me feel better.
- Showering is easy now.
- I made pancakes for the kids this week (with lots of help, of course).
- I can take a step, slowly, one foot per step instead of two.
- I can walk just a little faster around the yard.
- I can join my family at the kitchen table for meals and much-needed family time.
- I have stopped taking the heavy duty pain pills that make me dopey.
As always, I have many shout-outs of thank you's from this past week...I am continually thankful and humbled. I hope I don't miss anyone.
- My mom for EVERYTHING. She thinks she doesn't do much, but she's here and available daily, cooking, putting dishes away, and taking the kids wherever they need (or don't need) to be. She took Gracie to a hearing test this week and out to lunch, and took Ben school shopping. She brought Great Aunt Mary for a visit. She took her laptop to Mommom's so I could skype with my 97 year old sweetheart of a grandmother (go mommom). She brought me chicken and stew. See, that's a LOT!
- My dad for Ziggy duty and driving me to the doctor. You did great, even though it was a little painful. As Dr Dreamboat says, "It's supposed to hurt, Leanne, give it time, give it time." And for taking Nathaniel to his Shanahan summer reading exam.
- Joanne, for a second meal, even tastier than the first one. The mac and cheese was to die for - I had two bowls. And you brought that breath of fresh air crazy husband of yours, who always entertains.
- Charlene, for an awesome and huge meal (we still have some zucchini bread left, but everything else is long gone. Chris wants that grilled pork recipe.)
- Pat, your homemade salsa did not last the night. The kids are still talking about it, but the boys especially loved you cooking here and making them the sioux chefs!
- Meghan, for the lasagne, but mostly for the hike out to my house all the way from West Chester after a full day's work.
- Lise, I finally thawed that Southwest soup and it rocked, that recipe is a keeper! Chris helped himself to three bowls and then rolled around all night.
- Jennie, loved the banana bread - the boys devoured it. And cannot tell you how much I appreciate the bathroom!
- The cards from my Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Cora, three total now, really? I LOVE getting mail, but the last one was the best. It was a postcard with a simple heart drawn, and inside the heart, "We love Leanne". It doesn't get any better than that.
- The cards from everyone - this week the Brennan's, DeVlieger's, DiMauro's, Jackson's, Sager's, Zebrowski's,Tamesa, and Mommom.
- My kids, you guys have been terrific!
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