Miracles are Real
May 25th, 2012, marks the 29 year anniversary of the most terrifying day of my life, but also a day filled with future blessings that could not have been imagined at the time. I crashed a motorcycle into a tree going an estimated 90 mph (without wearing a helmet) and lived to tell about it. I didn't walk away from it, but I survived.
My friend, Jen, and I thought it would be fun. She was a good driver and a really good friend - we were friends since birth because our mothers were friends when they were in school. We were being typical teens and not thinking about possible dangers or consequences. It was only three days after my 13th birthday and I felt alive and happy to have finally reached my teenage years. I remember wearing a shirt that my aunt Pat sent me as a birthday present that day. I remember the wheelie I popped when I first attempted to drive the bike, while Jen fell off the back. I remember her jumping back on and giving me more instructions. I remember her yelling my name as she tried to yank my frozen hands off the handlebars. I remember her disappearing from the bike again while I continued moving forward really, really fast. I remember waking up four days later. I don't remember much in between.
My friend's mom somehow got me to the hospital with the help of Jen's brothers, who were younger than us, and possibly one of their neighbors; but when I got to the hospital, it did not look promising for me. They had to resuscitate me, fill me up with blood, and perform a few emergency surgeries. It was an entire month before I could go home - that, in and of itself is a miracle.
I think about Jen and her brothers - how terrifying it must have been for them. And my parents - oh my goodness - the hell I put them through! Now that I am a parent, I cannot imagine going through the agony of not knowing if your only daughter will even make it or not.
Annually, on this anniversary, I get out the medical report and read through it. It brings me to tears every single time, mostly tears of thankfulness and sheer awe that I am even alive to read the report. I am thankful for Dr. Monasterio, my surgeon, for being a fantastic surgeon who worked many long days to save me, along with the entire Southern Chester County Hospital staff. I am thankful that I walked away from the hospital a month later with only a missing kidney and damage to my liver and spleen. I'm thankful that I had no brain damage. I am really thankful that my family came together. I'd lost my ability to play some of the sports that I'd grown to love so much, but am thankful that it led me to discover a few other sports that were considered 'safe' for an athlete with only one kidney. I'd lost some of my lung capacity to play my flute, but am thankful that I've regained some of that as well as a passion for lots of other instruments. I am thankful that I was able to have children.
I had a moment while I was in the hospital where I believe God talked to me. I felt Him, saw Him, and heard Him. He told me it was not yet my time. My view of the world and my place in it changed instantly.
I have no explanations for the deep sadness that people experience, such as the loss of a child; nor do I believe that all things happen for a reason and are sent by God. I used to think it was that simple; but there is no explanation, in my humble opinion, for the many atrocities that people here on earth are faced with. Instead, I believe we have to look for the goodness in the experiences around us - to try to find what the "teachable moments" are so that we can walk away from every experience having learned more about ourselves and our beliefs. I had a motorcycle accident that forced me to mature very quickly, but God didn't put that accident in my life - I did when I used my own free will to attempt to drive it. I don't have any answers about God or religion, but I do believe that He exists. I've seen Him, and I've seen the many blessings that have come out of that horrific day.
 |
| I don't know what happened to the bike I rode, but it was huge just like this one. |
My friend's mom somehow got me to the hospital with the help of Jen's brothers, who were younger than us, and possibly one of their neighbors; but when I got to the hospital, it did not look promising for me. They had to resuscitate me, fill me up with blood, and perform a few emergency surgeries. It was an entire month before I could go home - that, in and of itself is a miracle.
I think about Jen and her brothers - how terrifying it must have been for them. And my parents - oh my goodness - the hell I put them through! Now that I am a parent, I cannot imagine going through the agony of not knowing if your only daughter will even make it or not.
Annually, on this anniversary, I get out the medical report and read through it. It brings me to tears every single time, mostly tears of thankfulness and sheer awe that I am even alive to read the report. I am thankful for Dr. Monasterio, my surgeon, for being a fantastic surgeon who worked many long days to save me, along with the entire Southern Chester County Hospital staff. I am thankful that I walked away from the hospital a month later with only a missing kidney and damage to my liver and spleen. I'm thankful that I had no brain damage. I am really thankful that my family came together. I'd lost my ability to play some of the sports that I'd grown to love so much, but am thankful that it led me to discover a few other sports that were considered 'safe' for an athlete with only one kidney. I'd lost some of my lung capacity to play my flute, but am thankful that I've regained some of that as well as a passion for lots of other instruments. I am thankful that I was able to have children.
I had a moment while I was in the hospital where I believe God talked to me. I felt Him, saw Him, and heard Him. He told me it was not yet my time. My view of the world and my place in it changed instantly.
I have no explanations for the deep sadness that people experience, such as the loss of a child; nor do I believe that all things happen for a reason and are sent by God. I used to think it was that simple; but there is no explanation, in my humble opinion, for the many atrocities that people here on earth are faced with. Instead, I believe we have to look for the goodness in the experiences around us - to try to find what the "teachable moments" are so that we can walk away from every experience having learned more about ourselves and our beliefs. I had a motorcycle accident that forced me to mature very quickly, but God didn't put that accident in my life - I did when I used my own free will to attempt to drive it. I don't have any answers about God or religion, but I do believe that He exists. I've seen Him, and I've seen the many blessings that have come out of that horrific day.
Comments
Post a Comment